Yes, hmph is the word here.
I have had a few people signing up for STAR (Student Action for Refugees)but now I am really worried because I am trying to arrange a first meeting and what if nobody turns up like last time. What if, in fact people turn .
I'm writing this on here because I don't want to talk to anybody about it because I'm supposed to be confident about being a leader.
up but the whole thing just sort of fades away to nothing after that. What happens if I'm not a good enough leader? I'm really not very confident about this stuff
My flatmates are really messing me about and have still failed to register with the electricity company so we are maybe going to get cut off any minute. I cancelled my accout because I was sick of paying other peoples bills and though it would make them get their arses into gear (but obviously not). I am very frustrated at the moment.
Tomorrow I am going to have to go to uni and see my 'so called friends' who are not my friends anymore because they abandoned me over the summer.
I had some stupid argument with my flatmate last week so I was just lying in bed with my belt tied round my neck and just thinking about how good it would be to really hurt myself. I feel like a bit of a headcase writing this on a blog and I just have to add that I am NOT suicidal.
I am kind of starting to make some new friends again (sigh...) but I don't know how that's going to turn out so I am nervous as hell.
I've been invited to a party by one of these people but because I am feeling so depressed at the moment I will probably just get really drunk and end up in a state/telling my life story which is not a position I want to be in.

Trying to smile but finding it really hard a lot of the time. I wish somebody could make it better but I'm so afraid that nobody can help me. You can talk to people as much as you want to but at the end of the day only you can make your life work out the way you want it to.