My phone is actually okay. It was just a bit wet off the Belgium trip.

So every now and then I have to wipe the condensation off the sim card.
Tonight I'll write all my phone numbers down in case I ever really do mess up my sim card.

I went to the cinema with my friends today which was good because I haven't seen them for a couple of weeks.

So all is well. I might be starting work tomorrow or friday, I'll let you know.

xxxx Vick

I have got a job now. I'm starting at Morrissons this week. Possibly tommorow.

Current problem: my phone is broken *sob*
I think it has been affected by all the rain in Belgium, it did get pretty wet. I hope the phone shop can fix it because it has all of my numbers on, which I don't have a record of anywhere else. I should have written a list of all my numbers in case something like this happened.

*crosses fingers and hopes phone can be fixed*

My friend has invited me the cinema tommorrow and I hope I can find some way to contact her.

Houston we have a problem.

I had a pretty good time in Belgium. Thursday 25th- Mon 29th.

We drove down to Folkestone on Thursday night and got on the Euro tunnel which I thought would be really exciting. I had some image that we weould see fish etc. through the windows of the train. However, the word 'tunnel' is an accurate description of it because what you see out of the window of the train is concrete. We had to sleep in the van which was uncomfortable so we didn't get much sleep. We got to Calais then we drove to Ieper and slept outside the military base (in the van) because the base was closed.
In the morning we went inside the base and put our stuff in the military tent which looked like a circus tent. Then we did 30km around Ieper. The terrain is very flat but our feet were still aching from walking so much. I was limping by the end of the walk because I hads blisters. It was also chucking it down. So in short; we were muddy, wet and tired and had bad feet. This is the authentic first world war experience.

On saturday I did 25km and my feet were killing so I slowed down to the pace of a snail but still managed to do it. We went to a barbeque in the town and I got quite pissed :-)
On sunday I did 20km which was bloody hard due to the fact that my feet were saying to my body , "no more, no more!" but I decided to just keep going.

All in all I managed to do 75km over the 3 days so I am quite pleased with myself. I felt a bit emotional when we had our group photos taken because it was the last trip when lots of us will be together and I felt amazed at what everyone had managed to achieve. I think everyone felt a bit like this and I had a few funny moments on the bus on the way out of Belgium when I thought I was going to cry just from the sheer emotion and exhaustion of it all. We got back to England and drove from Calais to Hastings and stayed in a campsite on sunday night. We went for brunch in Hastings then drove up to Leeds. We had a curry together in Leeds.
This is one of those things you remember for your whole life because there are lots of people leaving the club that I will probably never see again.

So I am still looking for a job. I'm also looking forward to the Belgium trip I am going on at the end of the month. We will be walking 100km near- around Ieper. This should be very interesting as I have never been to Belgium before.

Since I finished my work I have been lazing about. My family (Parents, Grandad, brother) came down at the weekend and we went to a place called Meanwood Valley Urburn Farm for the day which is very good. There were lots of small furry animals and also lots of sheep and some ponies. There were also some goats. This is beginning to sound like one of those 'my day out' stories which you write in Primary school.Anyway I had a brilliant day and I'll probably see them again in June.

Think I'll do a bit more job hunting tommorrow.

:p:p

I just realised I forgot to add something important.

I went to Scotland a couple of weeks ago and climbed Ben Nevis. Going up was just tiring, walking in the snow (at the top) tired your legs out but I loved it. Had a brilliant time. On the way down I managed to fall over repeatedly on the ice and snow and also on the gravelly path. It was the hardest thing I've ever done though and the views from the top were absolutely immense.

The next day I only went on the easy walk (not up Ben Nevis) again. I went to the pub after the walk and got pretty pissed and I was talking to this 40 year old guy who was a member of walking club. I got a text off the guy a couple of days after saying do you want to come out for a drink?

I said I was busy and I'd see him walking. mmmm... Great some sleazy man who is a lot older than me is interested. I just hope he's not going to Belgium (at the end of the month) too...

Right now I am pouring out my heart in this blog because at the moment I have no other means of expression because I am finding it difficult to talk. Words will just not come out my mouth. It is the last day of uni and I feel this kind of shock. It's shock which is creeping up on me very slowly and I still bloody amazed that it's the last day of uni.
I am writing fast because my emotions feel all fast and swirly at the moment.
The best year I have ever had in my life is over.

Now I am scared because I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to go back to Durham for the summer because I'll just get depressed (I couldn't really deal with it for a week in Easter!). But everyone is leaving halls and I am scared of being on my own. I am also really worried that it might take ages to find a job. I am embarrassed about admitting this to people, so I am just obsessing over these feelings instead. My friends will be busy working and on top of that they have big family commitments so I don't think I'm going to fit into their lives very much this holiday.

I feel completely lost and I'm trying to be proactive and look for a job etc. but I have this horrible feeling that all the good things are coming to an end, at least for a while.
I don't know where I belong anymore and I don't know what to do with this long holiday- three months!

I wish someone could just make it all better but I know that nobody can do that.

I haven't wrote properly for such a long time. I feel a bit wierd actually just sitting, relaxing and writing.
I have work to do over this weekend.
I am starting to worry about finding a job now. It is constantly on my mind. I am more worried about that than my work actually.
I feel a bit wierd and messed up at the moment because my course is finished on the 15th and it will be the end to the best year I ever had in my life. Everything I love seems to be ending and some of the people who have been so important to me and such an influence (such as walking club people and poltics society people) are leaving and I probably won't seem them anymore.
Next year when I am at uni I will be 20 and it won't be the same. I feel like crying sometimes because I want to be young forever. I don't want to keep growing up like this (not like I have a death wish or anything).

I feel wierd and I think it really hurts to grow up sometimes.
I don't know what I am expecting from people in regard to this post. I just wanted to write this feelings down because I can't talk about them to anyone (except maybe my brother who's not in the country at the moment).

I have been feeling strange like this since I went home for a week in Easter and felt that I didn't belong there. It is a strange feeling being unhappy in your home town, and realising that you shouldn't be there.
It's a wierd feeling which I suppose people get when they live home and they start to think, "where do I belong?".
This has turned into one of those deep posts again. I'll have to try and be lighthearted sometime.

I'm back (as you can see). It is nice that people having been enquiring about how I am doing. I am still looking for a job and I haven't heard from the youth hostel people yet (I wanted a job over summer as a youth hostel assistant) so at the moment I am handing my CV out and becoming frustrated. The last time I tried to find a job it took two months and by that time the summer was over.
Hope to find a job soon. Have to go now, I'm in a seminar!

Bye!