Yesterday I was supposed to do a presentation for STAR to promote it and get more members. There were only two members (me and someone else).
We got everything ready then nobody turned up and I was dissappointed so I went off somewhere to be on my own and I hid in the toilets for about 40 mins (I wasn't crying, just hiding). Then I came back up to the room and got my stuff and walked out because 'there is no point'.
One person had turned up but it was a poor turn out. I was really disapointed. I think because I was quite involved in planning it, it's almost like I've 'failed' or something, even though I know there is nothing that I could have done to make it work better. It was just really bad timing, end of the year is not the time to set up a new society. I was really angry and upset and stuff so I went home and hid in my room and didn't talk to anyone for ages (this is the Vickie way of dealing with things).
The guy who I was working with phoned me last night and said I did ok and that it wasn't my fault etc. which made me feel a bit better.

I still feel like shit today though and people keep asking me 'how did your STAR meeting go' and I feel embarrassed telling them it didn't work out.
I think I will have another go at organising a STAR group next year and get somne of the freshers involved because I can't really do anything about it right now. I am disappointed but I still won't give up on this.

So anyway I feel like I have learnt something from it. Like now I know how to organise and advertise a meeting and hopefully I will be able to advertise it better next year. At least I've had the experience which I am going to need to set this up next year. So something positive has come out of something negative after all. I suppose I am just taking it quite personally that this didn't work.

C'est la vie!

I wanted to write lots of things today, because it's sunday and I always feel like writing on sunday's.
Today was a good day for several reasons. First of all I had a nice lie in and then I watched a film about the Vietnam War protests called '1969' which was brilliant.
Then I had something tasty to eat and went to uni. It was a nice walk because it was kind of humid outside but it was raining and there was a slight wind which was just nice. I felt really calm and relaxed.
So now I am in uni writing this and I am going to be productive now and get some work done. I did 2 assignements yesterday. This work is due for friday but I don't want to leave it too late because I always end up rushing about.
Anyway, I will see you later.

I went to see this film last week and it was brilliant.
It's set in South Africa in Soweto (near Johhanesburg). This thief steals a car and then he discovers there is a baby in it. He can't leave the baby so he takes it home and looks after it. It changes his view on life and he begins to regret all the hurt he's done to people and all the people he's robbed.In the end he gives the baby back to it's parents. He knows he doesn't live in the right environment to bring up a child, he lives in a slum, wheras the parents live in a beautiful house. He knows he has no future so he has nothing to loose by giving the baby back and turning himself over to the police.

It's sad really because it just shows that what you're born into is not under your control and it makes you who you are. The whole situation is about luck really. If my life had been difficult as a child I could have turned into a messed up adult but I was lucky things didn't happen that way. Who knows maybe that's how 'destiny' works, you're born into it and without even realising it you are controlled by it.
Maybe... I was just wondering if anyone else had any thoughs on this film either.

Hi guess who it is? it's Vickie *laughs at own joke*

So I haven't wrote anything for a while.
I have joined a group at uni called Student Action For Refugees which is about doing volunteer work with refugees but we need to get more volunteers though. Me and another person are going to run the group which wil be really good (as well as hard). It will be good experience which I can put on my CV. I am concentrating at the moment on getting the expereince I need to get a job in the public sector/charirty sector.
I was also thinking that I would like to get some experience next year of working for an NGO so I am going to have to come back to Leeds in July and get a full time job until term time so I can afford to do this next summer. You have to pay for volunteer work!
So I feel good right now because I have a plan and something which I am working towards.
Going back to live with my parents when I have finished university is not a plesent prospect. There is nothing for me in Durham and there never will be. So I need to get a move on with my plans so I don't end up in this crappy situation.

I am nearly at the end of my first year and I can believe how fast the last few months have gone by!
I think I have challenged myself a lot lately and maybe too much but anythings better than being bored and watching life go by.
I'll be back soon and will keep you updated on STAR.

Tatty Lou had these questions on her blog so I stole them... he,he, he...

1. How did you get the idea for your profile name?
It's my actual name.

2. What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing?
Guns 'N' Roses

3. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
Never and probably never will. I am harsh but I don't think I could cry over someone I didn't know.

4. What colour underwear are you wearing?
Black and a bit lacy

5. Do you want a baby?
No, I do not want to have children because they can turn into an absolute nightmare and ruin your whole life. I don't want that responsibility, I want to be free...

6. What does your dad do for a living?
My dad works is an electrician.

7. What does your mum do for a living?
She teaches basic skills to adults with learning difficulties and is also a supply teacher.

8. What is/are your pet's name(s)?
I've never had a pet before.

9. What colour are your bed sheets?
White, I like to keep things plain and simple.

10. What are the last 3 digits of your phone number?
zzzzzzz No really I'm not telling anybody that.

11. What was the last concert you went to?
A few years ago I went to a Moody Blues concert.

12. Who was with you?
My parents

13. What was the last film you watched?
Bend it Like Beckham (ace film!)

14. Who do you dislike most at this moment?
Nobody in particular. Disliking people takes up too much important energy which I need for other things.

15. What food do you crave right now?
I just ate a really big meal, jacket potato and vegetable chilli with cheese on top with salad and apple pie with custard for desert.

16. Did you dream last night?
No.

17. What was the last TV show you watched?
I watched Shameless a few days ago.

18. What is your fav piece of jewellery?
Don't really wear much jewellry but I love my piercings, they are all shiny and they make me feel good.

19. What is to the left of you?
Nobody is to the left of me, that computer is free at the moment (I'm in the library).

20. What was the last thing you ate?
I just ate a really big meal, jacket potato and vegetable chilli with cheese on top with salad and apple pie with custard for desert. mmmm... that was really good.

21. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
I don't have any friends of the opposite sex at the moment.

22. Who last MSN'd you?
I don't use MSN, I do mostly blogging when I'm online.

23. Where is your significant other right now?
I don't have one!!! *sobs*

24. Do you have a crush?
No, not at the moment.

25. What is his/her name?
N/A

26. When was the last time you had your hair cut?
Mid January (I'm trying to grow it long).

27. Are you on any meds?
No and that's good because I hate taking medication

28. Do you have a mental disease?
No, though some have asked that question before.

29. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm not wearing a shirt. I'm wearing a light blue ribbed jumper.

30. Are you sexy?
Yes I am, simple answer.

31. What's your favourite store?
Leeds Market (it's cheap and good value)!

32. Are you thirsty?
Slightly but I always carry water around.

33. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
No, I don't want to get married. It's a lot of commitment and I want to be free...

34. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
My brother

35. Where do you work?
I'm a student, I don't want a job because that will take all my free time up and I like to be able to do exactly what I want, when I want.
so, that's the end of the questions. If anyone can think of anymore questions then feel free to ask.

Yesterday I lost my purse. So I panicked for a bit and then I went to look for it and I still couldn't find it. It had not been handed into secirity either!
Luckily I had nothing too valuable in there and the one important card I had I cancelled last night, so nobody has took any money out of my account.
It is a relief that I had very little of value in there or I could have been absolutely screwed.
Today was supposed to be my day for going to the gym but I don't think I will now because I have to walk round town and get new cards and stuff.
*puts of fitness regime till friday*

It could have been so much worse though, not that many bad things seem to happen to me, I wonder why that is? Is it because I have a positive attitude (well, some of the time anyway)?
hmmm.... *thinks about this*
I have been invited to go to a meeting tonight to join a Student Action for Refugees project so that should be good. I should start my volunteer work soon as well.
I have gone from being very bored to having a lot to do in a matter of weeks. I like my life.

I just realised I have neglected my blog a bit this week *hangs head in shame*
I have been busy though.
I joined the walking club and went away for the weekend to the Peak District, which was pretty good. I will post some pictures soon. I walked about 30 miles or maybe just a bit less over the weekend, which made me aching and sore, but I felt dead fit though.
It snowed on sunday so I got cold and wet and that was a challenging day.
It was bloody brilliant I would say!
I am still getting to know people though so I felt kind of awkward and all, but everyone's really friendly so no probs there. I'm going to Scotland in a few weeks time.

I have two presentations to do this week and am a bit pissed off with unreliable people who do not do their fair share, but anyway, they will be over in 3 days time, so nothing to worry about.

My brother is coming down this saturday and I can't wait to see him because I haven't seen him for ages, because he is always busy.

So yeah, I have been too busy to moan about the state of the world etc, which is good because sometimes I have to give myself a break from taking life seriously.

He He, I just typed this really fast because I feel all energetic today. Hopefully this feeling will last till tomorow so I can feel good about going to the gym for the first time.

I am starting stress a bit about work though right now because I have to hand a load of stuff in soon.
Anyway, I will be back soon (possibly tomorrow) to report on what I have been doing.

I have politics society tonight which I am looking forward too.

I was reading a crisp packet yesterday (Hula Hoops) and it said there was less saturated fat and salt than usual, like that was supposed to be healthy or something. There is probably still way too much of this shit in the food and I can't believe people fall for stuff like that.
The moral of the story is, if you are on some kind of diet, just don't eat crisps, there are no such thing as healthy crisps!

Also I was just thinking about all these 'low fat' things the supermarket's sell, maybe they are low in fat but maybe not low in the right type of fats. There are healthy 'unsaturated' fats or unhealthy 'saturated' fats. They are also likely to be high in sugar (a low fat yoghurt often has a teaspoon full of sugar in!) and have salt and flavourings added to them.

In fact our food in general has so much crap in it, this is why kids are hyperactive (partly the reason why anyway). The Jamie Oliver schhol meal programme showed how behaviour was dramatically improved by kids eating healthy, fresh organic food with no addatives, than eating the crap they were given by the government.
I'm proud to live in Britain sometimes, it is nice that there is a bit of a 'food revolution' going on here, with people eating more fruit and vegetables and being more aware of what they are eating.

Vegetarianism is quite healthy too, if you don't eat all the processed crap, and eat stuff like Quorn (which is made of fungi) and eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Vegetarians have something like a 50% less chance of heart disease or cancer in middle age than omnivores (or people who eat too much meat).